Monday, September 29, 2014

Listening and Trust

 

"Listening is not an activity you can delegate--no matter who you are." Feargal Quinn


I was going through some of my book notes and thought I would share with you some points from  The Speed of Trust and from other recent readings about Listening and Trust.  Both listening and trust are two critical components of developing quality relationships.

  • Listen First means to listen with more than your ears; you must also listen with your eyes and your heart. This has become more of a challenge as we communicate less face to face.

  • Take the time to listen for what matters most to people.

  • When listening to your co-workers, listen for what engages their interests and creativity.

  • People will not ask or take advice until they feel understood.

  • Research shows that our feelings and attitudes in face-to-face communication are based on:
  • 7% of what people say
  • 38% on how they say it
  • 55% body language



  • Leaders: Ask yourself are you letting the "few" define the "many?"
          Think about designing your rules for the 90% you can trust vs the 10% you can not.

  • Nothing motivates or inspires people like having trust extended to them.
          When it is, people don't need to be managed or supervised; they manage themselves.

  • Leaders are not good because they are right, they are good because they are willing to learn and trust.

  • Extending trust empowers people.

  • Leaders: Practice leading with questions and not answers.  Use questions to gain understanding. Do not use questions to place blame.


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Burn Your Goals Part 3


I wanted to give a big thank you to Sallie Guillory, Associate Head Coach at the University of Louisiana at Lafayettefor allowing me to share her notes from Burn Your Goals by Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert. If you are not receiving Sallie's Coaching newsletter you are missing out.  She does a great job with her content.  When I started this blog I was hoping to create a space where coaches could share ideas so thank you Sallie for sharing this week.   



Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Burn Your Goals Part 2


I wanted to give a big shoutout to Sallie Guillory, Associate Head Coach at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, for putting together another great Coaching Newsletter this week and sharing her notes from Burn Your Goals by Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert. 
This is part 2 of Sallie's notes.  Enjoy and please not only read the notes but take the time to reflect.  A lot of great quotes and material here.



Monday, September 22, 2014

Burn Your Goals Part 1


I wanted to give a big shoutout to Sallie Guillory, Associate Head Coach at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, for putting together another great Coaching Newsletter this week and sharing her notes from Burn Your Goals by Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert.  I will be sharing her notes for the next few days.  From looking at the notes this is a must read for coaches.  Enjoy and please not only read the notes but take the time to reflect and answer some of the questions.  What are you doing with your time?  Is there something you can do more of or less of?  Is there a specific controllable commitment you can start this week?  Ideas are just ideas until you put them into action.






Friday, September 19, 2014

Recognizing Winners



Another great list from Bill Beswick at http://billbeswick.com
In order to be a winner you must THINK like a winner and ACT like a winner!

Winners:
  • Have a "can-do" attitude
  • Display good body language
  • Enjoy competition
  • Do not blame others-learns from failures
  • Stay calm and collected
  • Have great focus and concentration in practice and competition
  • Do not try to impress others
  • Accept one's strengths and weaknesses


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Building a Winning Attitude for Players


BILL BESTWICK SPORTSMIND http://billbeswick.com

A GUIDE FOR PLAYERS

  1. Know your Why-check your motivation
  2. Find a Way-plan your journey
  3. Take Responsibility-you are in control
  4. Believe in Yourself-be your own cheerleader
  5. Know Yourself-develop strengths, manage weaknesses
  6. Be self-disciplined-on and off the court
  7. Be optimistic-your attitude is your choice
  8. Manage the Setbacks-learn the lesson and move on
  9. Enjoy the Pressure-trust yourself to deliver
  10. Think Team-we can only win together


The 10 most powerful 2 letter words
"IF IT IS TO BE
 IT IS UP TO ME."



Monday, September 15, 2014

Confidence




A few years back our staff was able to spend an afternoon with Sports Psychologist Bill Beswick and I refer back to my notes a lot so today I would like to share with you his philosophy about building confidence in players and teams.  You can find more out about Bill and his teachings at http://billbeswick.com

As coaches we are responsible for:

  • setting positive expectations
  • building confidence
  • turning potential into performance 

Confidence for players is believing they can overcome challenges. They can succeed because:

  • they believe in themselves
  • they believe in their team
  • feel well prepared
  • trust their coach

Down below is some lists about what a confidence breeding coach is like and what that should look like in practice and on game day.

The Coach
A positive role model
A realistic optimist
An expert teacher
A good communicator
A great listener
Relates well to their players
Enthusiastic, fun to be with
Possesses great patience
Always rewards good behavior
Calm and in control
Is bigger than the game

Practice
Hard work but fun
Has purpose and direction
Sets goals
Repetition without boredom
Helps every player improve
Is relevant to winning games
Gives every player a chance
Is biased to success
Avoids overcoaching
Avoids overtraining

Games
Good organization-no excuses
Players understand the game plan
Players know their jobs
Players feel prepared
Team surrounded by positive adults
The challenge is to be enjoyed
The coach trusts the players
The coach rewards good play
Mistakes, setbacks are dealt with positively
Responsibility without blaming
The result is part of the team's learning

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Colin Powell's 13 Rules of Leadership


If you are looking for a great book on leadership I highly recommend Colin Powell's It Worked For Me. The book begins with Colin Powell's 13 Rules  of Leadership and why he has hung on to them over the years. Here they are with some of his thoughts on each:


1.  It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 
             This rule reflects an attitude and not a prediction. I have always tried to keep my confidence and optimism up, no matter how difficult the situation. Things will get better. You will make them better.
2.  Get mad, then get over it. 
             I’ve worked hard over the years to make sure that when I get mad, I get over it quickly and never lose control of myself.
3.  Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 
            Accept that your position was faulty, not your ego. Loyalty is disagreeing strongly, and loyalty is executing faithfully.
4.  It can be done! 
             Don’t surround yourself with instant skeptics. At the same time, don’t shut out skeptics and colleagues who give you solid counterviews.
5. Be careful what you choose
             You may get it. Don’t rush into things.
6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 
             Superior leadership is often a matter of superb instinct. Often, the factual analysis alone will indicate the right choice. More often, your judgment will be needed to select from the best courses of action.
7. You can't make someone else's choices. 
            You shouldn't let someone else make yours. Since ultimate responsibility is yours, make sure the choice is yours and you are not responding to the pressure and desire of others.
8. Check small things. 
             Success ultimately rests on small things, lots of small things. Leaders have to have a feel for small things—a feel for what is going on in the depths of an organization where small things reside. The followers, the troops, live in a world of small things. Leaders must find ways, formal and informal, to get visibility into that world.
9. Share credit. 
             People need recognition and a sense of worth as much as they need food and water. Share the credit, take the blame, and quietly find out and fix things that went wrong. Whenever you place the cause of one of your actions outside yourself, it’s an excuse and not a reason.
10. Remain calm. Be kind. 
             In the “heat of the battle”—whether military or corporate—kindness, like calmness, reassures followers and holds their confidence. Kindness connects you with other human beings in a bond of mutual respect. If you care for your followers and show them kindness, they will recognize and care for you.
11. Have a vision.        
             Be demanding. Purpose is the destination of a vision. It energizes that vision, gives it force and drive. It should be positive and powerful, and serve the better angels of an organization.
12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 
             Fear is a normal human emotion. It is not in itself a killer. We can learn to be aware when fear grips us, and can train to operate through and in spite of our fear. If, on the other hand, we don’t understand that fear is normal and has to be controlled and overcome, it will paralyze us and stop us in our tracks. We will no longer think clearly or analyze rationally. We prepare for it and control it; we never let it control us. If it does, we cannot lead.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
             Perpetual optimism, believing in your self, believing in your purpose, believing you will prevail, and demonstrating passion and confidence is a force multiplier.  If you believe and you have prepared your followers, the followers will believe.

   
    

Monday, September 8, 2014

3 Traits of Successful Teams



Special shout out to Tony Benford our Head Men's Basketball Coach here at the University of North Texas for today's post.  Recently I had the chance to hear him speak to our football team about what it takes to be a successful team.

3 traits of successful teams:

1. Must have blind trust and faith in your teammates and coaches.
2. Sacrifice. Make things be about your teammates. Sacrifice for one another.   Be a part of something bigger than yourself. 
3. Winning habits. Habits create who you will become and who you are.

In closing he left with this thought:

3 things you can't get back once they are gone:

1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Friday, September 5, 2014

Humility



Down below is some excerpts from The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey.  In the book he speaks about the 4 Cores of Credibility: Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, and Results.  He defines integrity as being honest, having the courage to live your values and beliefs and also includes being humble. 
  •  A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right,  about acting on good ideas than having the ideas, about embracing new truth than defending outdated position, about building the team than exalting self, about recognizing contribution than being recognized for make it.

  • Being humble does not mean being weak, reticent, or self-effacing.  It means recognizing principle and putting it ahead of self. It means standing firmly for principle, even in the face of opposition.
  • Humble people also realize clearly they they do not stand alone, but rather on the shoulders of those who have gone before, and that they move upward only with the help of others.
  • The opposite of humility is arrogance and pride.  It's putting ego first--above principles, above others.


Another great source I found on humility is from Dan Rockwell's Leadership Freak blog post. You can find his blog post at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/the-8-strengths-of-humility/

Humble leaders are stronger than arrogant leaders.
Humble strength vs. arrogant weakness:
  1. Humility learns; arrogance knows.
  2. Humble leaders submit to noble values; they won’t bend. Arrogant leaders bend rules to their advantage.
  3. Humility listens; arrogance talks.
  4. Humble leaders serve others; arrogant leaders serve themselves.
  5. Humble leaders are free to build up others. Arrogant leaders build up themselves.
  6. Humility opens hearts; arrogance builds walls.
  7. Humility joins; arrogance stands aloof.
  8. Humble leaders connect; arrogant leaders disconnect.
Humility enables leaders to ask, “How can I help?”

C.S. Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.”

Necessity:
Leadership skills are important for leadership success but humility is necessary. I’ll take a less skilled humble leader over a more skilled arrogant leader every time. Arrogant leaders might succeed but they’ll never be successful. Can you think of any leadership skill that isn’t more beautiful with humility?

The Path:
Leadership is first about character then about skills. Spend more time developing the practice of humility and less time working on leadership skills.

You can’t talk your way into humility; it’s always practiced.